The rating system employed by The Plotaholics is a little different than most. It’s still simple, though. Here at The Plotaholics Podcast, we rate stories for their overall quality, which we believe is inherently tied to the level of ease or difficulty of watching these stories unfold. Therefore, The Plotaholics present the 0-5 shots rating system. The more you have to drink to get through the movie, the worse the movie is.
In most rating systems, the more of something that the subject of analysis receives, the better. Five stars is a damn good movie. That is not the case here. If The Plotaholics give a movie a five-shot rating, it means they had to be completely blitzed to get through the movie. Said movie is a travesty–an assault against all things a story should be.
Five-Shot Movie: Troll 2
The four-shot movie is clearly better than the five-shot movie. But how much better? Who’s to say? Maybe there is a killer song and dance sequence. Or maybe there is a skantily-clad Angelina Jolie. Something makes watching this a little better than a five-shotter, but it’s still pretty awful.
Three-shot movies are some basic shit, man. What can you say? These movies are made by people who understand what a movie is and what it is supposed to do, but there is something missing. It’s not a total drag to watching, but it’s not really fun, either. A lot of shark movies in this category.
A two-shot movie is a good movie. It’s like the B of the rating system. It isn’t without its problems, but it’s good. It’s entertaining and any issues with the story can either be overlooked or pretty easily explained away within the world created. There are no glaring issues with character or storytelling. The biggest complain with two-shot movies is usually pacing.
Man! This movie is almost perfect. If it wasn’t for that one little thing that kind of gets stuck in your brain the way chicken gets stuck in your back teeth at a family function. It doesn’t REALLY kill your experience, but it just kind of nags at you a little bit.
Dammit, Jim–James–Jimothy. Dammit Jim! This movie is perfect, or as close to perfect as is cinematically possible. Bravo, director and writer and cast and others! Ya did good!